The 2nd day of April, four years ago, my husband and I celebrated with a baby shower the coming of our beautiful girl.
We invited our closest friends and family to enjoy the special day with us. We were extremely happy and grateful and we looked forward to beginning our own family. Washing all the small clothes and packing them in the newly renovated room; making sure all her bottles, nappies, wipes and bum creams were all in an easy access distance from the beautiful brown rocking chair placed at the perfect angle in her room.
When she was finally born the doctors placed her close to me and kissed her forehead. They took her away to the nursery while I recovered after the c-section. Four days in the hospital with the help of the nurses gave us just the right amount of confidence to go home until we had to go home. Both of us were terrified. We realised quite quickly that either of us knew how to raise a child.
All the dreams of being the perfect parents with a perfect angel of a baby quickly shattered when she woke up at home and cried loudly for what seemed like an eternity! We didn’t know how to make formula, we didn’t know how to sterilise bottles. It was as if the knowledge of months of research and learning how to raise a newborn suddenly disappeared.
Don’t waste your time away thinkin’ ’bout yesterday’s blues.
Jon Bon Jovi
Four years have gone by since the baby shower. My husband and I have since separated and started the divorce procedure. Yesterday, 1 April 2020, would have been our 3rd wedding anniversary. After 9 years of being together as a couple, having a daughter and getting married, we both have finally grown up into being adults and being able to say to each other that neither of us wanted to get married in the first place. I walked down the aisle because I thought that was what he wanted, and he waited for me at the end of the aisle because he thought that was what I wanted.
We lacked the confidence to be able to honestly communicate with each other and instead listen to what society wanted for us.
At the moment, we are working hard in maintaining a good, open friendship built on trust with each other. It wasn’t always like this though. We have come a long way to get to this point.
“Yesterday was not your defining moment. The calendar moved forward, why not you?” Steve Maraboli
We will never be able to correctly predict our futures. But we can work towards a goal and hope that we are happy once we achieve that goal. You’ve got to believe in the possibilities. You’ve got to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. And here’s the big one. Believe in yourself.
“If today you are a little better than you were yesterday, then that’s enough.” David A. Bednar